I am my father's daughter. Damn it!

2010-01-23T12:04:00.002-06:00

My confessions

I'm a terrible "blogger." I admit it. I accept it.

I have gotten sucked into the world of Facebook.

I blame Turk.

When I was home on maternity leave after having him, it was this facinating place where I could go and find all these old "friends." I accepted every request sent to me, and sent numerous ones myself.

I'm nosy by nature. And this was the perfect place for me to go and find out what all these old "friends" had been up to.

Have you noticed my sarcasim yet?

"friends"

These people aren't my real "friends". My real friends aren't in quotes, and I don't have to "request" to know what they've been up to since college or high school, or junior high, or that trip to europe.

Those people already know what I've been up to the last few years. Of the 300 "friends" I'd say about 275 are just acquaintances. People who have passed through my life... and either not valued me enough to still be in it....or the other way around.

It's not to say it's all been bad. I lost touch with many of those people just because our lives took us in different directions. It's been fun to catch up. But usually after that initial... OMG! I've missed you SO much! How have you been?..... it fades off.

Because I'm passive aggressive.... I just hide most of them, instead of deleting. I wonder how many of them have deleted me.

But of course I am pretty awesome...so why would they do that?

But obviously they don't think so... or would we have needed Facebook to reconnect?

2009-06-08T15:05:00.003-05:00

My Baby....

My baby is having a "procedure" tomorrow.

It's nothing really,

and yet it feels like the "only thing"

2009-06-02T14:59:00.001-05:00

May 31, 2009

My Dear Little Murph~

I can’t believe you are already 2 years old! I know you’ll probably get tired of hearing it, but I remember the day you were born like it was just yesterday. We were so excited to get to finally meet you and hold you after waiting for you for some long! It seems like my whole life I was just preparing to be your mom!

You are an amazing little boy! Everyday you make us laugh! You have such a great sense of humor and you can be so silly! There are times that your strong will drives us crazy, but we know that one day that will be one of your very best assets! (But I promise it really wouldn’t kill you to eat something other than corn dogs and beans once in awhile!)

We were so worried that when we had Turk that you might not adjust well, but we underestimated how big your heart is and how loving you can be! You have been just the best big brother anyone could ask for, and Turk is lucky to have you! You do your very best to take care of “Be Be Doe.” He giggles whenever you are around. I smile every time I see you grab his little hand and kiss it, or when you pat him on the head and tell him not to cry.

You are SO smart! You love learning new words and love when you are able to communicate with us! Tree, bike, birds, drink, snack, “Brodies” and or course Dad, G (Eldest) and E (Deuce) are some of your favorites! You took long enough to say “Mom”, but it’s still one of my favorite words to hear!

You are fearless. You race down the stairs at our new house at Warp Speed. You can be out the door and to your bike before we know what hit us! You jump into the air with your eyes shut and a huge grin pasted on your face because you trust we will be there to catch you. (We always will be there to catch you by the way!)

I love you so much. Everyday when I wake up and you are in bed with us (something we really need to work on by the way) I am amazed that God thought I was worthy to be your mom!

You challenge me. At every step, you challenge me. You challenge me not to grin when you are being rotten, or when it’s really time for bed, or to come inside. You challenge me. You challenge me to be a better person, to be a better example for you. You challenge me! But I hope you never stop flinging yourself into my arms, eyes shut, and grinning, knowing that I’ll be there to catch you.

I adore you!

Love Mom

2009-05-20T13:34:00.002-05:00

Everyone loves this picture of the 6 of us. Mostly because they laugh at the fact that my hair is almost completely covering my face. I laugh too. But as a mom who is usually behind a camera....it's nice to be able to prove for once that I really do exist!

2009-05-19T09:28:00.002-05:00

Too much to say...

It's been awhile. I know that, and yet so much has happened in that time, that to try to sit down and acknowledge it all now would be impossible.

Turk is a Boy. That should be said at least. And the itchy bitchies that I last wrote about were real. It caused us to up Turks arrival by a few weeks to try to limit any complications. It worked. He was fine and cried and is amazing.

Murph adores him. I mean ADORES him. Murph calls him Doe, which is no where near his real name, but to Murph it means something. Turk is equally impressed with his big brother. As soon as he sees Murph his face just lights up. I was so worried about how they would get along. I shouldn't have given it a thought. For now at least they are best friends.

I am SO blessed. I have these amazing boys in my life, who to be honest I probably don't deserve, but I'm keeping them.

I'm a home owner now. At least I will be in 29 years, 11 months, give or take. I love the idea of us being "settled" for now and having a place to call our own!

Life is good

2008-11-03T11:57:00.003-06:00

NOT Nesting

We should be clear. I am NOT nesting. Yes, I am suddenly a bit consumed with getting things done around the house in preparation for the new baby, but that is NOT nesting.

I'm more like one of those birds who instead of building thier own nest, would happily just use some other birds nest for my little one. I'm very ANTI-nesting. Mostly because people seem to think you nest and then give birth shortly after. I repeat, I am NOT nesting

It's all about timing you see.

This baby has a VERY good chance of being born before the Thanksgiving Holiday. That means that there is a good chance that we might have a housefull of family for the holiday. Family that will look at my house and see the cobweb farm we've cultivated, and notice the stack of junk on the counter.

In other words, my mom and dad. My mom was a life saver when Murph was born. Chiefy had a major inspection at work and couldn't be home with us much more than to sleep and shower. But I once caught her on all fours scrubbing my kitchen floor.

I can't relax when she's scrubbing the floor.

And my dad? Well "Big Murph" is a man who notices all, and waits until you least expect it to let you know just what all he saw.

I don't need that kind of pressure.

I'm NOT nesting. I'm just afraid of still getting grounded for a messy room!

2008-11-03T09:35:00.002-06:00

The Itchy Bitchies

A few years ago my young neighbor girl (she might have been about 4 at the time) made a slip and instead of saying "creepy crawlies" said she had the "Itchy Bitchies"

I know what she means. I've got a screamin case of the "Itchy Bitchies" myself.

I should explain.

I am now 36 weeks pregnant. With Murph, at the end of my pregnancy I started getting itchy skin. It was mostly on my hands and feet, which I've read is a common pregnancy "symptom". I was able to treat it with a little Benedryl cream and was good to go. At the very end, actually in the hospital while delivering him, the itching got REALLY bad. It was so bad that I ruptured blood vessels in my legs while scratching. So bad that I begged for the Benedryl with almost the same fervor that I begged for the good drugs!

Almost

This time around, the itching has crept up much earlier, and with much more intensity.

I'm miserable. My hands and feet are nearly tolerable, but everything else is itching like CRAZY! I have sensitive skin to start, so I haven't changed anything. No new soaps, or creams, or detergents. This is ALL baby!

I'm Itchy. And it makes me, well, I'll admit. It makes me BITCHY!

Fine. It makes me Bitchy-ER!

My arms, legs, stomach, hell my EARS itch. Gold Bond is now my constant companion. I wake up to "dose up" I've even contemplated putting Gold Bond on a Q-Tip just to get inside my ears to stop the itching there. The Chief has quickly learned that he can win any argument with a simple back scratch.

If I didn't feel so repulsive these days I would probably count that as foreplay.

4 more weeks. Sure I'm most excited to meet little Turk, but I'm definitely excited to meet little Turk and go into Itchy Bitchy remission!

2008-10-27T11:21:00.001-05:00

Overheard in passing....

"I think when your nose hairs turn white, that's a sure sign you are getting old."

2008-10-17T17:35:00.006-05:00

Coincidence? Me thinks not!

There are a few things that you need to know going into this post.

My husband (the Chief) is a life long Notre Dame fan.
Southern California is home to a University and football program of which we are not allowed to speak.
One of my very best friends lives in Southern California.
She is one of the most generous people I know.
She sent the following outfit to Murph a few months ago.

Ok. So the other day I was going to let Murph wear the adorable outfit above SO-CAL friend sent to him. Daddy reluctantly dressed him for me and I didn't play that close of atttention to the conversation they were having.

That is until I picked Murph up from the sitter's house and found him wearing a Batman shirt. Murph doesn't OWN a Batman shirt.

Murph had discovered how to put his hand in his diaper. I am still hoping that he was just trying to scratch an itch.... but I can't be sure. Unfortunately this diaper discovery just happened to be a diaper that was "loaded."

So what did he do?

He decided to wipe his hand on his shirt.

That's right. He wiped poo on his shirt.

His father has never been so proud.

2008-10-17T17:34:00.001-05:00

I should tell you that I have been blocked from blogger during the day, so unless I find time at night to blog, well it just doesn't happen.

2008-09-12T09:06:00.002-05:00

No time for number one.

Murph is impatient by nature.

I knew this when he arrived 3 days ahead of schedule, even though I had been warned that first babies often come late.

From the time he was little we would count to three to do things. Tickle, jump, slide, whatever was called for at the time.

Murph doesn't have time for that. This summer he would try to jump in the water to swim with each number. He would stick out his foot to convince me to let him go.

Now, he has decided to work around this insane counting thing.

He starts at two.

If I sit him at the top of the slide he will immediately call out DOO! Which in Murphish is two. No time for the number one. And by the number three he expects to be halfway down the slide.

Leave it to my child to figure out a way around such trivial things to get his way.

2008-09-06T18:17:00.002-05:00

Time sure flies.....

When your 15 month old figures out how to reset the time on your alarm clock. Somehow Murph has decided that he should be on the same time as the land of his ancestors. I'm feeling a bit jet lagged.

2008-09-05T17:38:00.004-05:00

I was at the doctor's office today. When you are 28 weeks pregnant, the bathroom and the doctor's office are where you spend most of your time. While I waited at the window for the receptionist to help me I couldn't help but over hear the conversation between two of the nurses there.

"I think it's just awesome when a dad brings in their little one for an appointment."

"Me too. I know my husband would have never done that!"

I had to smile. When the receptionist asked if she could help me, I proudly said "Yes. I'm here to meet my husband. He brought in our little boy for his appointment."

The appointment today wasn't for me. It was for Murph. That was MY hubby that they were praising. I couldn't get out of work in time to get him there, so Chiefy came and got him and took him. I was glad he was there with us. So was Murph. We got the last of his shots before Kindergarten today. And Daddy is the BEST at making him feel better after Mommy holds him down and those mean nurses get him.

All hail the Chief!

2008-09-05T11:23:00.002-05:00

Tell me what you want..... what you really, really, want.

I'm not a political person. And I am not one to voice my opinions one way or the other. But if you didn't catch her speech I recommend giving it a good once over.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13144.html

As a former (ok current as well) fan of the Spice Girls, and all that girl power jazz, I have to say WOW.

You GO girl!

2008-08-22T10:41:00.003-05:00

There I go stereotyping again....

Yesterday I passed a man on a bike. I did not immediately think he was in training for a Tour de Anywhere. That was wrong of me. I should apologize.

So here it goes.

Dear Middle Age Bearded Man with your Camo Hat and Confederate Flag shirt on your 10-Speed holding a Brown Paper Bag roughly the size of a six pack of some beverage.

I judged you and I am sorry for that.

I'm sure you are riding that bike for the health factor, and not because your license has been revoked due to too many DUIs.

Regards,

My Father's Daughter

2008-08-18T08:52:00.002-05:00

Looking for the Silver Lining

So I've decided to stop pouting over the departure of the boys and look at the bright side of having them gone. I know it sounds a bit harsh, but you deal how you deal, and I'll deal how I deal. So this is a list so far of how it's not so bad.

The amount of laundry I have to do has dramatically decreased. Deuce will put on a fresh pair of socks about 3 times a day. It was worse in the beginning since their lovely, thoughtful mother never packs enough clothes. Unless we are talking about clothes taht don't fit them.
I no longer have to pick up socks that have been left throughout the house when Deuce decides to put on a fresh pair.
The number of dirty dishes has dramatically decreased. Eldest and Deuce both opperate under the impression that the dish fairy will take care of those glasses for them. That's why they feel free to get a new one out each time they are thirsty.
Not one single person in the house uttered the phrase "I'm so thirsty" yesterday. Deuce isn't able to come right out and ask for a drink. No he's more into hinting around.
This goes the same for the phrase "I'm so hungry" and Eldest's favorite "What can I have to eat?"
Murph didn't argue one bit when I said it was bath time, or tell me that he had had a bath only the day before. I didn't have to make him use the age old disagreement settler of "Rock. Paper, Scissors" to figure out who would be showering. I just started the water and he ran to the bathroom.
The house smells better. 9 and 11 year old boys just have an odor about them. Withing ten minutes of them arriving, their room will take on a definite funkiness. I'm not sure how it happens, and can only hope it won't happen with Murph.
No one talked about poop, farts, burps, or any other body function. Now I will say that Chief was a bit under the weather, so he wasn't quite up on his game yesterday.
No one asked to play the computer or the Wii. No one sighed and muttered how much they wanted to "rock out".
I was not "shinged" with a sword, or shot with a nerf bullet once yesterday. Though I did get poked with a stick by Murph as he said Doe! Hmmm.

See. It's not so bad having the little bleeders gone. I'm sure I could think of dozens of good reasons!

Of course I don't think Murph is quite as convinced. He tried to go into their room several times, called them on the phone, and laid down on the piece of cardboard they had turned into his magic carpet waiting for someone to pull him down the hallway.

2008-08-17T09:29:00.004-05:00

Searching for Normal

I took the boys to the airport yesterday. We actually drove to the city the night before and stayed in a hotel because of the early departure of their flight. The Chief had to work this weekend, yes poor planning, so he wasn't able to make the trip with us. That of course made it even harder on him, and harder on me for having to watch it.

We had one last dinner as a family, then all three boys and I loaded into the car for the 3 hour drive. Murph did pretty well. Even sleeping for part of the trip. Once at the hotel, it took awhile to get everyone calmed down and asleep. Murph would sit up and jabber at his brothers whenever they made a sound. "Snort like a pig!" they begged. Murph would oblige and even that made me tear up.

We were up by 5 to get ready, eat a little, and get to the airport. All three played on the bed for awhile, smiling and laughing. Again, the tears.

I was extremely nervous about how Murph would do at the airport, but he was perfect. Me on the other hand, well I was a sobby mess. I hate departure day more than any other day.

They talked about when they would be here next (4 months from today). Four months isn't so long they decided. And the baby will be here by then. Duece asked, "How old will Turk be when we get here? One or Two months?" "Two or three weeks," I replied. "That's little!" They didn't meet Murph until he was a month old.

It was finally time for them to board, and time for hugs and goodbyes. Murph was sleepy enough that he wouldn't hug them or give them smoochies. I was struggling not to cry, but that made is so that I could barely tell them goodbye.

Driving home, friends and family would call to check to see how it went, but even talking about it hurts. Our boys are gone, Murph's brothers are gone, and there is nothing that we can do to change that. Nothing legal that is, and I'm too pretty for jail.

So now we wait. We count down the 4 months until they are home again. We try to get our lives back to whatever normal is without them.

Who says normal is so great?

2008-07-29T14:15:00.002-05:00

And then there were six...

We are expanding the family. I think most of the people who happen to read this have known that for awhile. But I haven't even made the official announcement. So there it is.

We are calling the baby Turk. Which is short for Turkey since this is a Thanksgiving baby. Thought since Murph was originally Bear that the animal name would fit right in. We aren't finding out the gender of this one either, so don't ask.

Anyway.... I had one of those silly hormonal pregnant moments yesterday, that I think that some of you might get a chuckle out of.

The boys and I were enjoying our Sonic lunch watching the movie The Incredibles. Have you seen the movie? Well in it there is a scene when the mom is flying a jet and it is being attacked by missles. Her oldest children are on the plane with her, so she calls out over the radio "Abort, abort, there are children on board!"

And of course it caused me to get all teary eyed. (Even now typing the words, my eyes are filling up again.) It is well documented that I am NOT a pretty crier. I firmly believe that that (and a lack of all talent) are the only thing that have gotten in the way of my Broadway career. My eyes and nose get all red and splotchy instantly.

It's hard not to notice.

Even if you are a 9 year old boy. Deuce looked at me and said, "Why are your eyes all red?". Did I tell the truth? Heck no. I instead said, "Oh, I chocked on a bite of my sandwich". To which he innocently replied, "Oh I HATE that. It gets stuck right HERE and hurts." "Yes. It does", I said.

Yes. I lied to him about it.

And I'm ok with that. Why? Cause I'm pregnant. Which makes it ok for me to be just a little bit insane.

2008-07-17T16:02:00.003-05:00

Going Home

It's always nice to go "home" for a bit. The Chief, Eldest, Deuce, Murph and I all went to visit family and friends for a couple of weeks. With the cost of gas, it's about all the vacation we might get, but we enjoy it none the less. The boys would live there I think if we would let them. Lots and lots to do at G-Ma's and G-Pa's house. Not to mention the fact that they can do no wrong there.

I happened to run into an old friend while we were there at the gas station (where my left kidney was removed to pay for the trip). Someone that I used to teach with in my home town. My last year there he moved up to an administrator's role, and is now the admin guy at the school.

He basically told me that when we are ready to move back home just to give him a call a little in advance and there will be a job waiting for me. "You can do a lot with adding sections when you want to". Which is teacher talk for I can make the classes smaller to have more of them so that you can get a job here. How awesome was that? It's nice to know that I have friend's and co-workers who think that much of me. Makes is sound like when the time is right, we really will be able to go home.

2008-07-02T10:23:00.003-05:00

Poop

As the mother of an infant, it's amazing that I haven't had to discuss this topic before now.

It's only in the last few days with a couple of events happening in the house that I've been thinking about it way more than one would want.

I remember being about 7 or 8 and my parents calling my sisters and I into the bathroom for a family meeting. What happened next was a lesson on toilet paper usage. We were shown how to wipe, fold then wipe again. Aparently we had been using WAY too much. I remember thinking that my parents were insane. But then again this wasn't the first time I had thought that. But we were never called back for another TP conference, so I guess my sisters and I got the idea.

I need to have my parents offer the course again.

Our oldest boys arrived for the summer this weekend.

Since that time we've had two "incidents". The lesser is the fact that while doing laundry I've had to fold skid marked skivies. "I only use a piece this big to wipe my butt," was the response we got from Eldest. The bigger incident is that poor Chief had to unclog the toilet that had been filled to the brim with toilet paper. Well it had been clogged once, and then "used" the second time. "I had a whole lot of poop on my butt" was the response that time mubbled from Deuce. Even the steel stomached Chief about lost it on that household task. "Next time just get your @ss in the shower!" cried the Chief!

And here I thought that having Murph try to grab the poopy diaper would be the most disgusting thing I would have to deal with this week!

2008-06-02T09:19:00.008-05:00

The year in review

Murph turned 1 this weekend, and I was filled with wonder, joy, and a bit of sadness all at the same time. I get weekly updates on where he "should" be developmentally, and this was the first week that instead of saying "Your Baby" it said "Your Toddler"

In the weeks leading up to his birthday I would look at him and still be amazed that a year before I didn't even know that Murph was a Murph. We had chosen to be surprised with his gender and so we didn't know what his name would be. Heck we didn't know that HE was going to be a HE.

On his birthday he allowed us all to sleep in to a very respectable 7 am. Not bad for a kid who is usually up at 4:30. We celebrated with pancakes, and I even let him have a bit of syrup. He was a sticky giggling mess, and I loved it!

So I've been thinking a lot about the last year. It has gone by faster than he can run and get into the dog's water dish, but has been just incredible.

We have this amazing little boy who finds finds joy in everything!

He makes us laugh everyday with the things he does. Even when he's being defiant and strong-willed like Daddy.

He has a Mommy, Daddy, brothers and an extended family who adore him

He has GREAT friends

He runs, he climbs, he carrys on entire conversations with us and the dog. Everyday he is doing something new. His mind moves faster than his little feet, so that means big trouble for everyone around!

I can't wait to see what the next 50 or 60 years have in store for him!

2008-05-19T08:41:00.002-05:00

Mommy Moments

Yesterday I had changed Murph out of his jammies into clothes. He likes to "help" with the laundry so I was letting him carry the pajamas down the hall to where I was doing the laundry. I was walking in front of him and all of a sudden I heard a THUD! I looked around to find my brilliant little boy had put the pajamas over his head and walked straight into a wall! If I wouldn't have been laughing so hard I would have probably felt bad! I rushed back and took the jammies off his head to find him looking at me with a "What the hell just happened" expression. Thank goodness he has those gorgeous blue eyes!

One summer when I was about 10 nearly my entire family was struck down by pneumonia. It was probably the most miserable I had ever been. I can remember the moment it hit me and how terrible I felt for what seemed like weeks.

During that time I learned a very valuable lesson from my dad. "If you are going to eat something when sick, you might as well eat something that makes pretty puke" I know. He's a deep, deep man. But this was the advice he gave me right before getting me a bowl of strawberries. (Which did indeed make.....well you get the picture). Yesterday, Murph followed Grandpa's advice. He has a tendency to shove as much into his mouth as possible, which sometimes leads to gagging and regurgitation. Rainbow goldfish. I'll stop there or else you'll never again eat confetti icing on your cupcakes.

How do you know you are a mom? When you write a blog entry about vomit.

2008-05-14T11:21:00.002-05:00

I miss....

Be kind, Rewind
Not feeling naked without a cell phone
Sleeping through the night
Eating anything I wanted without reading a label
Wearing clothes with an odd number size
Being able to go to work still smelling like the evening before and having that be "cool"
Being able to hit a round number on the gas pump. Because it's damn near impossible to go from .96 to .00.
Respect. Because even at my bitchiest, I was always repectful to my "elders"

2008-05-12T15:08:00.002-05:00

I know I'm committed (or need committed) because...

It's nearly summer. (I say that on a less than "summery day", but go with it). And with the change of season comes the much anticipated change of wardrobe. Now this is NOT to say that I love my summer wardrobe. More it's that I HATE my winter wardrobe that much (to be fair come fall I'll feel the same way about my summer wardrobe).

Digression.

But the other morning I had decided to wear a pair of Capri's. So non committal the Capri. Not quite a pant.... not a cellulite showing short.... Maybe it's the lack of commitment that draws me to those half pants.

Digression

So I had laid out the pants and realized that the reason my legs weren't cold is that they weren't bare. No, they had a bit of stubble to them. So in the shower I lathered up lefty (we'll call her Mary-Kate), grabbed my razor, and began. It didn't take more than 2 swipes to know that this razor was past it's prime. The spattering of blood droplets was my first clue.

Dilemma.

Do I A) step out of the shower dripping wet in search of a new razor (with hopes that there IS a new razor) B) Wear something else. C) Carry on and suck it up.

I carried on. I finished Mary-Kate and started and finished Ashley. With all the red spots you would have thought I had the measles.

If nothing else. You HAVE to admire my dedication to the capri.

2008-05-07T09:12:00.003-05:00

Knock, schmock!

I should apologize to those who've heard this story before, and of course to the Chief since he gets tired of me sharing all the stories about him.

So I'm sorry Chiefy Dear. But not sorry enough to stop.

We live in a rental house that is fine, but has some quirks.

Like the bathroom doors don't latch all the way. And if say an 11 month old pushes on them, they will spring open. Suppose this wouldn't be a big deal, but we are very private pee-ers in our house.

Last night Chief literally ran down the hallway to get to the bathroom in the hopes that Murph wouldn't follow.

No luck.

Murph is obsessed with Daddy right now and wants to be where he is!

So of course a few moments later I hear the startled cry from Chief when his "business" is interrupted! I can't help but laugh! Almost as funny as when he was doing a sit down job and Murph burst in! I can just imagine his shocked face!

He would like me to feel bad for him.

People in Hell would like ice water.

2008-05-06T08:50:00.003-05:00

Just another day.

There are some days in your life that stick out more than others. A graduation, a wedding, a birth of a child, just to name a few. Days that make you smile or bring a tear to your eye because of the joy you felt.

There are other days that stick in your mind as well. Days that you will forever remember where you were or what you were doing. A presidential assassination or attempt, a space shuttle exploding, a plane hitting a tower.

Today is one of those days for me. Twelve years ago I was standing in a high school gymnasium where we had just gotten news that his organ's had been donated and he was gone.

May 6th.

For years I would dread the weeks and days leading up to today. I would be teary eyed and be in a funk.

But today it was different.

I didn't have any of that leading up to today. In fact it was quite a shock when I looked at the calendar and said, "May 6th. Why do I know that date?"

I felt bad when I realized it. Like I had been unfaithful to him and to my grief.

It's still there of course. But just like an injury, the grief is faded now. The swelling has gone away and it's no longer the nasty jagged eyesore it once was. Now it's just a faded white line that you have to remember which arm it's on when you go to show someone and tell them the story.

I guess time does heal all wounds. Well at least to the point that sometimes you have to look for the scar.

~~~~~~~

I'm adding instead of editing. It was actually fourteen years ago. Twelve years ago is when he should have graduated. Fourteen is just one year short of how many years he had been alive.

2008-04-22T08:05:00.002-05:00

I wonder if it is a coincidence that I read this story last week.

http://www.newsadvance.com/lna/news/local/article/no_hostages_only_birds_at_wards_road_wal_mart/3909/

I'm wondering because last night as we were walking by the frozen waffles, the Chief was dive bombed by a bird. Yes. He was pooped on right there on the hand in the frozen food section.

He was not amused.

He was the only one.

2008-04-21T12:16:00.003-05:00

A pig in a pot.

Murph took his first step on Easter, and has been getting more confident every day since then. He's now is officially a walker. If he's crawling it's only because he is too far from something to pull himself into a standing position.

He also has a new thing where if you find him doing something he isn't supposed to do, he will yell at you before you get the chance to yell at him. He raises his little fist and does his best to shake it at you, as if to say, "How DARE you catch me doing this!"

He's very adverturous. You can't turn your back for more than a minute or he is long gone. Usually to torment the wonderpup, but sadly that isn't all he's been doing.

I was certainly hoping that it would take a little longer than this, but Murph has discovered the toilet.

Oh how I wish he was potty training himself, but it seems that is still a ways off.

He's potty training his toys instead.

Should I be alarmed that Murph's little shirt and hand was wet when I discovered this?

2008-04-18T08:17:00.002-05:00

Note to self while watching Transporter 2 (again)

Dear Self,

If you ever find your self becoming a member of a band of unseedy characters, and are asked to join your comrades in attacking one guy.... Don't underestimate him. And for the love of GOD! Don't wait to attack him one by one! Rush in there at the same time! There is safety in numbers.

Remember, there is no I in Team, but there are definitely a couple in "ass kicking"

2008-04-10T08:39:00.003-05:00

A what barn?

So yesterday I was having a normal conversation with a friend from a west coast state. You may recall that I am a mid-westerner, more specifically a proud Hoosier currently living in the "Land of Lincoln".

For once that was not a digression, but actually relevant to the topic.

Anywho....We were talking about lack of storage space and how more was always needed. I said, "Ideally I would have at least a 3 car garage and probably a pole barn"

To which she said, "A WHAT barn? Sorry you lost me"

Did I lose any of you?

I had no idea that other people didn't call those multi purpose buildings with aluminum siding "pole barns". So I decided to ask a few Lincolnians if they knew what I was talking about. They did not.

I had the same feeling I did my freshman year when talking to my college roommate. I told her that when I was little I was "Dutchy".

Lose you on that one too?

Dutchy is what you call a little kid with a speech issue. It's not meant to mock the residents of Holland. I'm not really sure where it came from to be honest.

For example: I couldn't say L sounds so I said Yuve for Love, or Yucky for Lucky. My dad was Dutchy too. He said Tair Tep instead of Stair Step. Don't worry. Dad and I both got over our issues, turns out he had hearing issues, and well who knows what my issue was. But a little time in speech therapy cured me!

So I'm wondering if anyone else has ever run into this "regionalization" of terms. I would love to hear some examples!

And for the record, a pole barn is where you would keep your shop, classic car, horse, derby car, dirt bike, tractor, hay bales, four-wheeler, or anything else you might not be able to fit into your garage.

And no, it's NOT the same thing as a regular barn. Those have wood for siding.

http://www.mortonbuildings.com/

2008-04-07T08:11:00.002-05:00

Just because I don't want to be left out of the pack....

Of course I would be the short, stocky, stubby-legged dog.

I guess I should be thankful that at least I'm not a "yippy" dog.

2008-03-24T21:12:00.005-05:00

War... Huh.... What is it good for?

This week we've been reminded countless times that the United States has been in a war with Iraq for 5 long years.

I'm not a political person, and won't start that now. People constantly look for some good to have come out of this situation, but for me I don't have to look far. He's tucked away in his crib sleeping as I type.

5 years ago Chief wasn't a Chief. He was just another first class getting ready to ship out. I happened to be at the home of his brother the night before he left for 9 months off the coast of Iraq. His family was all wishing him well, and I was handed the phone.

We had had a love hate relationship for years. I've known him my entire life you see. It was a good thing I never wore pigtails or he would have pulled them. He called me beautiful that night, and the next day boarded the ship to do a job he volunteered to do.

I got his email address shortly after that, and we started emailing. It wasn't long before it was an obsession. I would wake in the middle of the night to check my mail, and by the time he arrived home 9 months later and we talked on the phone again our lives were changed. He flew home a few weeks after that, and we have been together ever since.

I'm not political, but if not for this war, and that deployment, my life would be so very different.

And I can't imagine that it could be any better than it is right now.

War? What is it good for?

Absolutely EVERYTHING

2008-03-14T20:00:00.003-05:00

You should make a note of this.....I was wrong

It isn't often that it happens, and less often that I admit it. But I suppose it was bound to happen.

Last night I sat with Murph watching a movie I have seen at least a hundred and one times. Murph was watching Dalmatians for what I'm sure will be the first of many, many times. Both of my nephews and my niece were obsessed with the movie, and it is probably genetic.

I had a light bulb moment during the movie, and I'm a big enough person to say that I owe GD Lacey an apology.

All this time I just thought she was being annoying. But I was reminded of the Twilight Bark, and how it was that chain of communication lead Pongo and Perdita to their adorable offspring.

I can hear Cruella saying to me, "You I-Di-Ot!"

Poor, sweet GD Lacey. All this time she's been doing her darnest to locate missing puppies and I've been cursing her!

You find those puppies GD Lacey (sniff) you find those GD puppies!

2008-03-10T14:23:00.004-05:00

The slow kid ALWAYS gets tagged

I'm not really a fan of these things, but I'll try to get into the spirit of things.

Ten years ago, I was -
Finishing up my senior year of college
Going out WAY too much
Drinking too much
Sleeping too little
Trying to figure out what the heck I was going to do with my degree.

Five things on tomorrow's To Do List -
Get through the day so that I can spend my evening with Murph

What I'd do if I suddenly became a billionaire -
Pay off our bills
Set up college funds for all the youngins in my family
Buy a jet to make travel much easier
Get a pool boy

Three of my bad habits -
None. Like Mary Poppins, nearly perfect in everyway

Jobs I've had -
Waitress at Noble Romans
Dorm Food Service Worker
Waitress at Pondergrossa
Dorm Food Service Worker
Waitress at Olive Garden
Assistant Manager at Finish Line
Grad Assistant
Waitress at Crapplebee's
High School Teacher
College Adjunct
Wife
Mom (the hardest one yet)

5 things people don't know about me -

If I haven't felt like telling you those things before.... Why would I tell you now?

Fine. Here are 3

I once had to spit off the Eifel tower twice because the first one didn't make it past the platform.
Sometimes I'm amazed that I get paid for doing what I do (or more the case don't do)
I once snogged a complete stranger who looked like Fat Boy Slim.

Look up Snog, it's not as bad as you think

Then look up Fat Boy Slim and it might be as bad as you think.

*Edited to add....http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snogging

See Tara... It ISN'T that bad. I'm not sure WHAT you thought snogging was. Or what you had thought of that snogging was worse than?

2008-03-07T11:46:00.002-06:00

Bobble Head

As you might recall, I joined Weight Watchers. I've lost a total of 7 pounds in the last month or two. Sure it's no "Jared from Subway" results, but the reality is that I already weigh a little less than I did when I got pregnant, and only a pound or so more than what I did when I got married a few years ago. And the fact is, I'm pretty comfortable at this weight. I'm currently wearing what were known as my "Pre Murph Skinny Pants"

That's not to say that I wouldn't like to drop a few more pounds and get into a range I haven't seen in years. But that isn't what this is about.

This is about why I love the Chief.

Chiefy didn't care if I lost any weight or not. He was still calling me Sassy McGoo as I waddled into the hospital ready to deliver.

But he has been SO encouraging in my weight loss efforts. So much so that he joined WW with me (He proceeded to drop about 15 pounds in 2 weeks, but I'll try not to hold that against him) and now looks up healthy recipes to make for supper.

He has complimented me on my new slimmer body more times lately than I can count. But even in those compliments he infuses his own personal style, and is able to make me laugh. Let me give you a couple of examples of his new terms of endearment.

Chicken Neck (I guess a pound or two dropped off there)
Skinny Minnie (never in my LIFE has this name been applied to me! My sister, but never me!)
Flat Butt (For someone whose college nickname was Rump Shaker, well that's huge)

But my favorite is Bobble Head. He claims that my body is shrinking and that my head will soon just bobble along (he emphasizes this with head bobbing motions)

Last night he told our middle boy that he wanted to kick me in the butt and see how long my head shook like a little dog in a car window.

God love the Chief!

2008-02-28T11:54:00.003-06:00

While we are on the topic of balls.....

I am an animal lover. Wonderpup has been like my child for nearly 10 years. Granted, now that Murph is here he's more of a red-headed step child, but a child none the less.

That being said....I hate the neighbor's dog.

Ok, even that isn't fair to say, because I think that "Lacy, Laaacy, God Damn it Lacy" is a sweet enough dog. She just is starved for attention. The "Loudlys" are not nice to the dog. Even though they have a fenced yard, she is often chained up out there. She doesn't have a dog house, can only crawl under the deck. We did finally see them take the dog inside when the wind chill was sub zero, one time. Now that it's warming up she's back out on the deck.

Did I mention the deck was about 20 feet from my bedroom window. The window of a poorly constructed, lightly insulated, rental home?

So while they are in their house, stuffing thier oversized faces and those of their oversized children, the dog sits on a picnic table looking through the window and barks.

And Barks.

AND BARKS.

Last night I had had enough. Standing at the door screaming "Shut Up!" at the top of my lungs didn't seem to have any affect on "God Damn it Lacy".

So in a moment of weakness and idea came to me.

Meatballs.

Anti-freeze meatballs.

But then that little angel who so rarely appears on my shoulder poped in to say hello.

"It's not the poor dog's fault," she said.

She was right, I knew that.

Then the little devil (who is there MUCH more frequently) spoke up

"Make the meatballs. Just leave them on the front porch as a gift for the Loudly's. They don't look like they would turn down free food"

Tempting. Verrrrry tempting.

I settled for yelling "Shut Up" one more time.

I figure using Antifreeze didn't work too well for that Jensen guy.

and I'm too pretty for jail.

2008-02-25T14:32:00.002-06:00

That's what he said

We got a phone call this weekend from Chiefy's ex. Incase you aren't aware, over 2000 miles seperate us. Five states lie between our state and their state. We won't see them again until a month from now when they visit for spring break. Seems that our 11 year old told the 8 year old to "lick his balls."

WHAT the heck are we supposed to do about it?

She seems to think that instead of picking up this kind of language at their public school, which they attend every day, they picked it up from their cousins. Of course those would be their 17 and 10 year old cousins on OUR side of the family. Cousins that they see 2, maybe 3 times a year. We are to have a "talkin" to with the nephews to explain why they shouldn't use that language.

She's a nutter. This is the same person who went on and on about how they aren't allowed to play those video games at her house, or at any of her family member's houses. Then the boys told us how much fun they had with their uncle (her brother) playing those same games!

So Chief held in the laughter as he explained to the 11 year old why he is not allowed to say that to his infuriating little brother. And promised that he would "once again" talk to their cousins.

Thank goodness she doesn't have anything serious to worry about. Like the fact that the 8 year old is falling behind in school. He might repeat third grade, but at least he won't say BALLS.

2008-02-18T06:48:00.006-06:00

Grandma Great's Grill

Before Flava Flav or Nelly had them, my great grandma was rockin some gold teeth. Not many, just a few, but that tended to make an impression on a little kid.

When asked how she came to have these gold teeth, she didn't just offer a standard answer, no Grandma Great had her own sense of humor. She said that if you lose a tooth, and don't put your tongue in the space left, you would get a gold tooth.

Everytime I lost a tooth I would try to keep my tongue away, but sadly I never got a gold tooth of my own. It's impossible to do, you know.

It seems Murph is doomed to have boring pearly whites just like me. He's gotten his first tooth, and more are on their way, and he can't leave them alone. Every time I look at him he either has his finger in his mouth or has his tongue stuck out.

I told him Grandma Great's story. He thought it sounded ridiculous.

2008-02-14T08:44:00.002-06:00

(Thumb placed firmly on forehead) It wasn't me!

I hate public restrooms. (I would hold "it" all day if I could.)

I hate a stinky public restroom even more. (Do your "business" at home")

But even more than that, I hate walking into an offending restroom when no one is around, and out of it when a crowd has gathered.

Because you KNOW those people think I'm the reason it stinks.

2008-02-09T10:23:00.000-06:00

And she wonders why I make fun of her..

My younger sister is a good person. She is a great aunt to Murph, his brothers, and his cousins. She is loyal to a fault. She is well liked and has some really great friends. Sure there is the occasional moment that she gets a burr in her saddle and her heads spins, but all in all, I can't complain. Much.

She, on the other hand, will tell you what a horrible person I am, and how I have always been mean to her. She'll tell you of all the mean things I did and said to her. She'll tell you how I used to put her in headlocks (for her own good) and that I made her eat dirt (because if you double dog dare someone it means they HAVE to do it). She will convienently forget the things she did and said to me. Like the time she called me fat and I called her stupid. She claimed names hurt her more than they hurt me (I think that just goes to prove my point)

But that's mud under the bridge.

I prefer to think of it as my duty as an older sibling to toughen her up for the mean, outside world. I think I have failed.

Here is an excerpt from our last phone conversation.

Her: Sometimes when I sit on the toliet I weigh my legs. They weigh like 11 pounds each. Do you think that's right?

Me: You know this is going in the blog right?

2008-02-06T11:28:00.000-06:00

A letter to Me

I normally swear to most people that I don't like country music. Or will pretend to not listen to it as much as I do. But lately it seems that those are the only stations playing music I'm not ashamed to let Murph listen to. I read a report yesterday that said that the average 15-18 year old listens to 2.4 hours of music a day, and in that time hears 84 references to drugs and alcohol. Yikes.

But once again, I digress.

My roundabout point is that yesterday I heard the song about a man writing a letter to his teenage self. I got thinking about what I would want to be able to tell a younger me if I could go back in time. I'm a bit like Doc. I'm afraid that the letter Marty hands me could ruin things, so in my usual way I would want it to be informative yet cryptic. So here goes.

Dear 17 year old me,

Right now life is so simple. I know right now you are worried about what he said, or she said, or what they think about you, but I promise you in a year you won't care. Infact, in a year you won't even think about 98% of those people anyway. Trust me.

Be nicer. Filter more. Sometimes you say things to be funny, but words can wound. Years down the road you will still regret little things that you say and do now.

Love those around you. And if you love them, tell them. Don't take those close to you for granted. One day you will stand in a cemetary regretting not picking up the phone more or visiting more.

Love yourself more. Respect yourself more. Others will learn to do both more if they see that you've learned it.

Stop cutting your bangs so short.
Learn to tweeze
Put down the hairspray!
Flannel is NOT flattering
College will be amazing.
Hide the phone when you start drinking.
You will love Europe. Both times.
He is NOT worth it.
Neither is he.
Nope not him either.
Getting warmer.

Life won't always go as you plan.
25 won't be as bad as you think.
26 and 27 might be worse.
28 is when your life will really start.
31 is when it will finally have meaning

Mom and Dad are right.
About almost everything.
But sometimes they aren't.
So trust that they raised you well enough to know the difference.
Because sometimes YOU will be right,
and they will have to trust that they raised you well enough to know the difference.

Technology will change your life.
You will have amazing friends, even if some of them you never get to see face to face.

When things are right, life will be simple. You just have to trust that there is a plan for you out there.

Be good. Have fun. And don't do anything I'm going to regret.

2008-02-04T15:03:00.000-06:00

It's not that I love the Giants.......

I just really hate the Pats.

2008-01-31T08:56:00.000-06:00

Cops again.....

"That's my sister man! I'm not gonna let NO man beat on her. Unless she's married to him!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another sign that I'm aging quickly. In the past week I have

Gladly gone to bed at 8 pm (twice)
Watched Jeopardy, Cops, and America's Most Wanted
Cursed at a "stupid, reckeless teen-age driver"
Held a Tupperware party (Online at least)
Joined Weight Watchers.

Now If I can just find a jazzercise class or a Jane Fonda workout album, my transformation will ge complete.

2008-01-29T10:22:00.000-06:00

Unfortunate Headline

I occasionally visit the website www.fark.com. It has a compilation of stories from around the globe. I hate that the poorly worded headline takes away from the seriousness of the story. But tell me if you can get past the headline on this one without a chuckle.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20080128/wl_csm/okidnap

2008-01-28T08:18:00.000-06:00

Deep thoughts.... By Rob Ritchie

Driving to work earlier this week, Kid Rock (aka Rob Ritchie) was on my favorite morning show. I've been a fan of his since his mainstream debut. Because of course I too wanted to "Be a Coooow Booooy Baby" (I can still hear my young nephew singing along at top volume)

I enjoyed listening to him talk about several things, one of which was spending part of his summers in Traverse City, Michigan a place where I have spent considerable time. (There were several jokes about the "Cherry Festival" that takes place there each summer, and how it might have to be renamed if Kid were to attend). but I digress

My favorite part though was when talk turned to downloading of music. Apparently Kid's work is not available for download on sites such as iTunes. Part of the reason is that he likes for an album to stay together. Another part is because no body really knows how much money he has in a song, so how can they just decide to charge one price for it. Then he talked about illegal downloads. I admit that I was a fan of Napster back in the day, so I was interested to get his take on it.

He offered the very best reasoning against (illegal) downloading that I think I've ever heard. I won't be able to word it as well as he did, but I'll give it a try.

"I'm rich (says Kid), so what can I say about it. But you know who else is rich? Tommy Hilfiger. So if you need a new sweetshirt, don't buy it. Just take it. Also rich? Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. Don't buy your computer steal it!"

I loved it. I think I'm going to have to go and buy the new album.

2008-01-24T09:12:00.000-06:00

You like me... you really like me..... (you is singular in this case)

My favorite blog is http://www.thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy.blogspot.com/

I will admit that often what Third Worst writes about is over my head, but I try to follow along. Plus Third finds humor in some of the same things I do. There is a Seinfeldian quality to Third's life observations.

So you can imagine the honor I felt when not only was my blog once linked to by Third Worst, but was recently awarded the coveted "Blog of Steel" award. (All right, so I don't know how coveted it is, how it works, or anything about it, but give me my glory!)

I just hope that I can be more dedicated to the "Blog of Steel" than I was to the Buns of Steel. Cause as we all know.... Baby got Back!

2008-01-23T11:00:00.001-06:00

Crack for Babies

Murph is a riot. Everyday his personality comes out a little more and we can't help but laugh at him. He's quite ornery, and I'm going to blame that on the Chief.

We've started giving him Gerber Puff snacks. I've had a friend describe them as "Baby Crack", and I have to agree. He sees the container and will start bouncing up and down waiting for us to give them to him. I've tried to explain to my mom that Murph is a goldfish and will eat as many as you give him, but she hasn't caught on yet and just keeps feeding him more. The dog loves it because the ones Murph drops on the floor he gets to eat. I swear there are times when I think Murph pushes some on the floor just so the dog will come closer.

The little monkey is up and crawling on all fours now, and getting faster everyday. Which means that we have to be faster to keep things picked up and out of his way. He has a new game that he thinks is the funniest thing ever. He will crawl around the couch out of our sight, then sit up and wait for us to come after him. Once we peer around the corner he will burst out laughing, then turn and dart off hoping that we chase him. His favorite target now is the dog's food and water bowl and he will be there before you know it.

Here is what you need to know. To a seven month old.. THIS

Looks a whole lot like the sweet little Baby Crack star shaped puffs. So the first time Murph saw the dog food bowl he about freaked! He thought he had scored! So now every time we put him down he makes a bee line to the dog bowl. So far, i think we've stopped him before he's actually gotten any into his mouth, but I have a feeling it is only a matter of time.

Surprisingly the dog isn't as happy about sharing his treats as Murph is about sharing his.

2008-01-16T18:40:00.000-06:00

Circle City Cops...

Chief and I are watching Cops. I know, but I SWEAR there is nothing else on. It happens to be an episode from our capital city.

When describing the call the officer had just responded to, he says, "She just sat there and let him do what ever he wanted. I mean any kind of physical abusement"

"Abusement" I say, ever so proud of my fellow statesmen.

"Yeah," replied Chief "Abusement. It's like amusement, but better."

Like amusement but better.

2008-01-16T11:48:00.000-06:00

An Update

It's been brought to my attention that I need to give you an update on a past post. So for those of you taking score, here you go.

Patient Student of Supply and Demand.....1
Selfish Wii Scalping Bastards...... Zero!

The Chief and I had stumbled onto a website called www.wiialerts.com. People mocked us for getting emails letting us know when stores got Wiis in stock. They mocked louder when told that once after getting a text message at 3 am, the Chief sprinted to the computer to try to get one.

But mock no more! Shortly before Christmas, dear Chiefy was at work when his cell phone vibrated with a new text. He was surprised to see that Amazon had Wii's in stock. He was hesitant. (We'd gotten our hopes up before you see), but when he hurried to the computer he was able to get logged in and infact PURCHASE A WII! And not for those over inflated prices, but for the retail price. He did pay $15 extra to have delivered the day after Christmas, but that was less than it would have cost us for sales tax or gasoline.

So now that we have the Wii I've developed a new obsession. I must tell you, I've heard the kiddies talking about Guitar Hero 3, but had never tried it out. But now that I have, it safe to say....

I Rock.

No seriously. I know this might shock you, but I rock out.

The Chief will even tell you how good I am. I'm the one who gets the high scores. I'm thinking about joining the summer festival tour. Or starting my own tour. I'll call it La La pa Awesome. It won't get in the way of my teaching job, but I can still live life on the road and party hard. Well as long as the show is over by 8 pm.

Now if only I can find some Sun-In and a can of Rave to get my hair just right.

2008-01-09T11:07:00.000-06:00

and the student becomes the teacher

The first time I ever got a flat tire was in my own drive way. Which is good I guess since I could just go right inside and call my Daddy (bio, not sugar). Of course on the outside that's all fine and good. Until you meet Daddy. He has his own style of teaching. He came out, said something to the affect of "Sucks to be you", then sat down to watch me change it. I was pissed! I cried, and got mad at him, my mom got mad at him. "That's not the way MY dad taught me!" she yelled. "Did you learn anything?" he smuggly answered? He never buckled. He said he did it that way so that if I was on the side of the road at 3 am, I would know what to do.

Damn it. His approach worked. Years later when I had a blow out on a major interstate, I calmly pulled over and changed my own tire.

My dad is one of the smartest guys I know. He can take apart and fix anything. He once fixed the power locks on my car with wood chips and super glue. Who thinks of that? And who gets that to work?

When I was in college a roommate of mine had some car trouble. From 100 miles away, she called Dad from the Auto Repair Store where they were suggesting the $300 worth of parts she would need to fix the problem. He got on the phone with them and said, "Let me get this right. You are going to charge her that much to go in and unscrew this piece, replace that piece, and screw back on the cover? I don't think so!" She left with her $20 repair.

I tell you all of this to give you some insight into his evolution to a man of the 21st century. A few more facts to keep in mind.

He is 61 years old and he has NEVER used a computer. This year he bought my mom (also a techno newbie, meaning she can email and play a mean hand of solitaire) a brand new photo quality printer/scanner/copy/fax/coffee maker for Christmas.

Over break, I installed the printer for him and held several small training sessions. We limited our focus to scanning, cropping, and printing an existing picture. He would rather NOT have to turn on the computer for anything.

He did pretty well, and only had to call me one time to come to his rescue. I was only a mile away at my cousin's house, so it was no problem. I went right over and we got things taken care of in no time.

Flash forward.

Last night at 9 pm my time (10 his) he calls me from over 200 miles away with a printer issue. Do you know how hard it is to try to talk someone through something like that? I am sadly NOT a member of the Geek squad, so my knowledge is limited. Then I had to deal with explaining some terminology. Think back to before you knew what "desktop, background, or double click" was. Look at the top right corner of your brower? How would you descibe those three little boxes? Min, Max, and Close right? Or would you say minus, box and times (as in multiplication) as my dad did? I give him credit. He is making the effort. Stepping outside of his comfort zone.

I was MUCH more kind than my dad was when teaching me about a tire. Then again, I'm not sure that at 3 am he is going to be able to scan, crop, and print a picture.

2008-01-07T08:38:00.001-06:00

Saturday night after I had gone to bed in a Tylenol Cold induced coma, my dear Chief came to me to tell me that a senior at my high school had been killed that day in a car accident. He wasn't a student of mine, and I didn't know him. But that didn't change how I reacted.

I felt like I had been punched in the chest.

Instantly I am taken back to the night my senior year in high school when the phone rang, my mom called my dad into talk, and then called my little sister and me in to tell us that a close friend had been in a serious car accident. He died two days later. I remember it so clearly because that was the exact moment that I became an adult.

Two short years later I was sitting in friends dorm room when we got that call that one of my oldest friends had been killed that morning in a car accident.

I've been through the same things that his classmates and friends are getting ready to go through. I wonder if a decade from now they will still have a t-shirt hanging in their closet that he left the weekend before he died. Or if his football number will still be ingrained in their mind. I wonder how many of the students in this building became adults this weekend.

I'm also affected in another way. Always before I was on the friend side of things. But now, as a parent to an amazing little boy, my heart is broken for his parents and family. I stayed longer than usual at the sitter's house this morning because Murph had woken and was smiling at me. How do you recover from the loss of a child? If I still can't get rid of a shirt from over 12 years ago, how would I function with that great of a loss? I don't think I would ever recover.

I wonder how many of the students in this building became adults this weekend. And I wonder how many of the adults stayed with their little ones a little longer this morning to sit and watch them smile.

2007-12-20T13:56:00.000-06:00

Fleas on my Dog

I'll probably be scarce for the next couple of weeks. Holiday festivites and all of that.

(I'll wait while you dry your eyes)

But before I go.... I wanted to wish you a happy and safe holiday season.

Or in the words of the Chief.... (sung to Feliz Navidad)..... I simply say

FLEAS ON MY DOG. FLEAS ON MY DOG.

I don't really know what else he would say here. I'm normally tuning him out at this point. But you get the idea!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-18T15:03:00.000-06:00

A letter to the Wii scalpers worldwide

Dear Selfish Bastards,

I'll be waiting. The day after Christmas when the demand drops off and you are left trying to get back your purchase price, instead of the over inflated amount you are trying to get on EBAY right now. I'll be waiting.

I OBVIOUSLY don't love my children or spouse enough to pay double or triple the retail price that some of those other "suckers" are willing to pay. They weren't THAT good this year.

I'll be waiting. And not in the freezing cold like you probably did. But in the comfort of my own home.

Signed,

A student of Supply and Demand

2007-12-13T08:13:00.000-06:00

Dear Santa

This year, will you please bring her some self-respect?

Love,

Me

2007-12-12T11:40:00.000-06:00

Worth a thousand words...

I call this picture...

"So let me get this straight, there's this old guy and he sees me when I'm sleeping, knows when I'm awake, and you're OK WITH THAT?"

and this one

"Back off the gifts and no one gets hurt!"

2007-12-10T14:03:00.000-06:00

That's what she said.

A friend today emailed me and at the end said, well I got to go. I have some "chopping" to do. I assume she meant "shopping" but the "chopping" thought reminded me of a funny little story.

I SWEAR it is true.

I couldn't make this up!

Basically it is how I knew I was in the wrong small group at church. My older sister and I were in there because she didn't want to go alone so I agreed to go with her. The timing of this group worked out for us. Unfortunately the other people in there were all couples and all my parents age. The woman in this story was actually the mom of a guy I graduated high school with.

The conversation went a little something like this.

Small Group Leader: Has anyone ever done something unexpected and nice for you?

Friend's Mom: Well when we were dating, Larry used to bring me wood.

(Startled gasp which I every so discreetly turned into a choking fit)

Friend's mom: It was such a nice surprise. He would just show up at my house and have wood.

(full body shaking by me, apparently it was contagious because my sister was catching it too. I didn't dare look at her)

Small Group Leader: Now that you are married he doesn't bring you wood anymore?

Friend's Mom: Nope, he hasn't just shown up with wood in years.

The burns from the lightening strike I suffered that night have nearly healed.

2007-12-06T12:33:00.000-06:00

I'm seriously irked.

First of all, who in their right mind makes candy canes that are cherry flavored? Secondly, if they are going to be THAT insane and make them cherry flavored why would they make them red and green? Cherry flavored food should be colored accordingly. (And don't give me that crap about the leaves being green)

I don't like red flavors, I like green flavors. If you know me, you probably know that.

Candy Canes should be peppermint flavored. If you want to make a stick of candy with a different flavor, make it a different shape.

Incase you haven't put it together yet, I was tricked into buying some of those crappy cherry candy canes. I didn't notice the words "cherry flavored" until after I had made my candy.

Ho Ho Freakin Ho

2007-12-04T08:00:00.000-06:00

Perspective

I got on the scale this morning and had an e-tif-a-knee. (much the same as an epihany, but with more sarcasm). If my IQ results were the same as my weight, I would be thrilled.

So why wasn't I happier when I saw that I was finally back in the same "decade" I was in pre-Murph? Infact, I'm really pretty close to where I was to start.

I read an except from a Hollywood starlet yesterday who had been receiving flack about some recent pictures showing a bit of cellulite. "We know what you ATE last summer" the mean spirited writers said. She's a size 2. By 5th grade I was a size 5.

Yesterday Murph had his 6 month checkup, and I was happy to hear he had gained 13 ounces in the last month. I had even hoped for more. Isn't it strange how our perspective can change?

I've decided to swim the English Channel. I'm not exactly sure when that will happen. And I don't really have time to start training right now. But when I do, I'm going to be prepared with the extra few pounds I haven't yet lost from the baby.

2007-12-03T08:20:00.000-06:00

What would you do with a Drunken Sailor?

Yesterday two things happened that made me laugh.

1) I received an email from Optimus Prime (Transformers) alerting me that my hubby was on the battle front and that my so called "sibbling" might have joined the Decepticons.

2) He proudly told me that he created a new baseball team and named them the "Butt Smellios". Their team nickname is the "Farts"

God Love the Chief!

2007-11-30T10:30:00.000-06:00

Sadly, every day I am reminded of why abstinence only education in our schools is NOT working

http://www.courttv.com/news/2007/1130/mother_ap.html

http://www.courttv.com/news/2007/1129/baby_grace_zeigler_ap.html

http://www.courttv.com/news/2007/1121/teacher_ap.html

2007-11-30T08:18:00.000-06:00

Tis the season....

Last night we took Murph to our local super duper do it all retail center. This is the same place where I get my truck serviced, the Chief gets his haircut, we buy groceries, and occasionally enjoy a filet o fish. Last night our goal was to get pictures celebrating Murph's first 6 months. He was not amused. He did all right, but our normally happy, smiley could not find the humor in 3 adults making faces and funny noises at him. He looked so darn cute, but alas.... was more interested in his feet than looking at the camera. Good thing we only paid the Low Low price of 6.99. We'll try again next week with his holiday gear on.

Speaking of our trip last night. I noticed a bit of a theme when I unloaded the shopping cart. See if you can find a pattern.

Item 1 (ok, it was really was the ingredients to make item 1 which included chocolate, peppermint extract and candy canes)

Item 2 (a four pack of my liquid obsession)

Item 3 (because sometimes you aren't thirsty)

Item 4 (because Item 2 was only a 4 pack... and let's be realistic, the way I'm guzzling those we really can't expect a 4 pack to last forever!)

Houston? I think I might have a problem. If I keep up with shopping trips like this it won't be long before I'm going to be decking the halls with pants that don't fit!

2007-11-28T09:38:00.000-06:00

Hey pretty lady.... got a date for the prom yet?

I'm stretched out and ready to shake what my mama gave me.

2007-11-14T15:25:00.001-06:00

I'm a terrible blogger. I knew I would be, but I have even exceeded my own low expectations. Is it possible to exceed in a negative manner?

Murph is walking now. Just up and started running around. We were so proud. Nearly as proud as the first time he said pneumonoultrascopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. (thirdworst, that is for you and the trauma an english teacher once put my sorry non spelling self through. I still don't think I spelled it correctly!)

Ok. I lied. He isn't walking quite yet. But it was my way of making some of you slackers feel bad! =)

2007-10-10T16:52:00.000-05:00

The Reason Grandpa is NOT allowed to Babysit Murph

2007-09-18T12:33:00.000-05:00

From the Nostrils of Babes

An excerpt from a conversation I had with 4 year old Moses, a boy who goes to the same baby sitter as Murphy

Moses: I was sick yesterday

Me: Me too. I had a stuffy nose. What about you?

Moses: I had a stuffy nose too, but I picked all the boogers out and ate them.

Me (in an appalled voice): Eww Moses! That's disgusting!

Moses (in and equally appalled voice): I know! I didn't do it! My hand did it!

Me: Well tell your hand that's disgusting and not to do it!

Moses: Stop it Hand! That's disgusting!

I can only hope he moves on to pre-school before he has too much of an influence on Murph!

2007-08-27T08:34:00.000-05:00

Baaaack to School.... Baaaack to School.....

Ah Fall... That time of year when stay at home parents breathe a collective sigh of relief.

Not to say that they don't just adore their little darlings, who in late May and early June were so sweet and innocent, but as the summer wears on, so do parent's nerves. Sure, the student's vacation is ending, but that of the parent's is just beginning.

For children and teens, the worst part is usually having to wake up and go to bed at certain times. But what other options do they have? They have to be there. So as much as they might grunt and groan, they'll be waiting for the bus with their boots tied tight.

Then you have those of us adults who CHOOSE to go back to school. Either as paid employees, or as paying students. Whichever the case may be, you have to give us a little credit. It takes a big person to be able to walk into a classroom everyday and not want to turn and run screeming back to our cars.

This year I'm torn. I was actually really enjoying my summer home with Murph. I'm torn because I am so incredibly happy to be back at school. I'm around other adults all day long, and I don't smell like spit-up. I feel guilty because I'm not more upset about having to drop off my little man at the sitter. Hopefully I have a redeeming quality since the very best part of my day is picking him up as soon as possible after the final bell rings.

2007-08-01T22:36:00.001-05:00

I am 32 flavors

I'm a fan of the singer Alana Davis. I listened to her first CD over and over again. In one of my favorite songs "32 flavors" (yes I know it is a cover of an Ani DiFranco song, but I heard Alana's version first) she sings "One day you're going to get hungry and eat most of the words you just said"

"Of course I'll go back to work!" I'd quickly exclaim. "I wouldn't WANT to stay home" and "I just wouldn't be a good mom if I didn't work" I'd proudly proclaim.

Who knew how quickly Murph could change all of that for me.

In less than 3 weeks I am going to be leaving this little man in the care of a perfectly nice and capable woman. But in the last few days I've been brought to tears by the thought of putting his care into her hands. I know him you see. I'm the one who can tell the difference in his cries. I'm the one who has comforted him and loved him and worshiped him.

I'm going to miss him. I'm not going to be there when he wakes up smiling from his nap. I won't be there to hear him giggle and coo through the day. And it won't be me who is there to pick him up and comfort him when he cries.

"Of course I'll go back to work", I say begrudgingly.

Who knew that one of my 32 flavors would be crow.

2007-07-12T11:20:00.000-05:00

There was a woman who swallowed a fly....

I don't know why she swallowed the fly, but I think it might have something to do with the fly crawling down in the straw of her chocolate coke from Sonic.

And it wasn't so much that she swallowed the fly, but actually more accurately chomped on it a little bit thinking that it was a strawberry chunk.

What would a strawberry chunk be doing in a chocolate coke you ask? It wouldn't! She normally gets a strawberry banana smoothie and was confused! So back off jerkface!

2007-07-06T03:34:00.000-05:00

Insomnia anyone?

Murph can't sleep.

More accurately, Murph WON'T sleep.

He fights it with all he is worth (which in my book is quite a lot)

This is NOT something he inherited from my family.

It is 3:45 am and he is bright eyed and bushy tailed.

"Put them in their crib," they say.

"It won't hurt them to cry," they say.

I've decided that "They" are masochists.

Have "They" ever listened to the heart-breaking, increasingly desperate whimpers/hysterical cries of a 5 week old?

Me thinks not.

So I will continue to break every parenting rule there is--I hold him too much, I let him sleep on his tummy, I put him in my bed with me, on my chest even, and at 3:45 am I consider giving him just enough Baby Tylenol to take the edge off.

2007-06-14T10:35:00.000-05:00

Introducing....The Baby Bear (also to be known as Murph)

Murph arrived a few days early, proving to be more of his father's child than my own, since I am never early for anything. But definitely has my nose and ears. He has the Chief's blue eyes for now, but somehow I think they might turn brown.

He's such a good little guy. He wakes up in a good mood and just looks around smiling. His personality is just so mellow. Let's hope it stays that way!

Last night we tried to add his handprints to his baby book. I now understand why the nurses at the hospital didn't do this at the same time they printed his little feet. We now have a black smear where his hand print should be. The worst part was that he likes to put his hands in his mouth. At one point before I could get all the ink wiped off he had this little smudge right below his nose that made him look a little too much like a former German ruler! I know his dad and I both have quite a bit of german heritage, but that was a bit much!

2007-05-24T14:29:00.000-05:00

K's Legacy

A long time ago, a girl I went to school with told me an interesting story about her mom and her brother. I'll call her mom K. For some reason K had told the girl's younger brother that if he ever went to the bathroom and his poop was 12 inches long.... she would give him a quarter.

Where the heck does something like that come from?

I had heard this story.... and it stuck with me, but I never shared it for years. As it turns out.... my younger sister had also heard the story. The "brother" was in her grade in school.

Fast forward until several years post high school. My sister and I were travelling in Europe. I have what you might call a "shy colon" (I think it goes back to the time I "went at church, the toilet broke, and my dad told me no one wanted to look at my turd!")

Anywho....

I hadn't been able to go for a few days, but my time finally arrived. I went, and the only thing I could think of was "Wow! K owes me a quarter" A thought I went on to share with my sister, not knowing that she would actually understand. We were both shcked to know that the other had heard the story!

In the years since that time, K's legacy has grown. Other family members and friends have been clued in on the story. I often get text messages, phone calls, or emails asking me to collect the $.25 for them. This poor, sweet, God fearing woman is now thought of whenever one of us "goes."

How would you like THAT to be your legacy?

2007-05-22T10:51:00.000-05:00

Time keeps on ticking (ticking) into the Future.....

I remember eagerly counting down to the end of school each year. This continued through elementary, junior high, high school, and even college and grad school. As a teacher.... you would think I would do the same thing now. But each year it sneaks up on me and I'm broadsided by the announcement "We only have (insert number here) days left!

This year has been a little different. I am due to have a baby on June 3rd, and the last teacher day of school is not until June 5th. I must have been the only person disappointed this year when I got the call for snow days. I currently have 12 days to go until my due date, 14 until the end of school. I must be the only pregnant woman ever to want to go past her due date.

Could it be that I am just a control freak and don't want someone else coming in to finish up my class for the year? Could it be that I don't want to waste any more sick days than necessary? Cold it be that I am just FREAKING out at the thought of having a baby come barreling out of my lady parts, then being responsible for it's upbringing for the next few decades? Yes. I think it might be a little of all of those. But mostly the barreling out of my lady parts.

2007-01-30T10:16:00.000-06:00

Like getting 7 McNuggets for the price of 6!

Did you ever go to McDonald's and order the 6 piece nugget, only to be pleasantly surprised to find they gave you 7 nuggets instead of 6? My friend Alexa was the luckiest person I knew. She was always getting extra nuggets!

Yesterday I got my extra nuggets. I had ordered Baby Einstein videos from ebay. I won 2 seperate auctions (from the same seller). When my videos arrived yesterday I found that instead of the 22 I paid for (excessive?) I actually received 24! Sure they were duplicates, but who cares! I got 2 extra DVD Nuggets!

I'm a simple girl. Simple things in life bring me joy.

Now the only question is...Do I regift or resell?

2007-01-11T09:58:00.000-06:00

What's in a Name?

" What's the name of your baby" my 2 year old niece asked? "I don't know. We haven't named it yet. What do you think we should call it?" I respond. "Bill!" volunteers my sarcarstic hubby. "Biiiilllllll!" she says disgustedly, "NOT Bill"

The baby's name will not be Bill.

Not that we had wanted to name it that, but how could you when the name causes a 2 year old to look as though she has swallowed the lemon tree?

We don't know what the baby's name will be, won't for several months. We are in the minority of parents to be who are choosing NOT to find out the gender. A good friend is appalled! "Well what do you call it?" "Junior" I reply calmly. "But what if it is a girl?" She is saying this to a girl who was called "Little (insert my father's name here)" my entire childhood. "I think she will be fine"

"What should we call the baby?" I asked my niece again. "Bear" she said with confidence. So we call the baby Bear.

2006-11-08T14:45:00.000-06:00

Why I have been an AWOL Blogger

I have not been a very dedicated blogger the last month. Mostly because the only thing I really wanted to write about was the one thing I couldn't write about. My family is far too superstitious. But I figure that I might as well put it out there that I currently have an alien the size of a Gummy Bear living inside of me. Actually He/She was a Gummy Bear 2 weeks ago. Now He/She is moving towards the size of a Gingerbread Person.

I will go back in less than 2 weeks and will hopefully get to hear the heartbeat again. I won't know until June if it is a He or a She. I just hope He/She is healthy.

2006-09-27T14:35:00.000-05:00

Dodging a Bullet

I can't tell you how happy it makes me to be able to call this post "Dodging a Bullet." Normally, I am not a very literal person. But today I will make the exception. My dear Chief had been on a very short list of people (eleven to be specific) who would possibly be going to Iraq. He would have been stateside for a 100 or so days, then be on land in Iraq for nearly 200 days. I am so glad to announce that we found out just a few hours ago that he will NOT have to go. He was in the Middle East a few years ago. But that time he was able to sit 13 miles off shore. This time he would have been smack in the middle of the country.

I do not mean to sound un-supportive of the men and women already serving overseas. Whether or not you support the war or the President. I find it critical that people support the troops. (Which I do) Because they are there doing their job, I can sit here and do mine in little fear for my safety. But I am also selfish enough to want my dear Chiefy here with me. Can I be supportive and selfish at the same time?

2006-09-20T12:24:00.000-05:00

You can't make the poor buggers happy.

I have found that regardless of what you do, there are going to be people who whine about it. I've spent several weeks working on a project that I presented today to about 30 people. I had worked very hard, which for a perpetual slacker like me is saying a lot. I had consulted several people experts on the subject , and had all in all put much thought into it. Up until today, everyone I had talked to about the project thought that it was really very interesting. Not to pat myself too hard on my back, but I was pretty proud of myself.

Enter the audience. I shouldn't get too down on myself. Most of the participants were excited about the project, and their role in it. But there were those 2 or 3 who made me want to pull out their hair. (Yes, I said their hair, why ever would I pull out my own. Ouch!) I resolve not to let the 2 or 3 negative people over shadow the positive people. I am presenting again tomorrow to a smaller group. Let's hope that the negative people will keep their little mouths shut!

2006-09-11T13:21:00.000-05:00

I just had another of those moments where I realized just how old I am. I had one this weekend as well. This weekend, my dear nephew failed the written part of his driving exam. When I heard the news, I flashed back to one of my first days in my profession. You see I deal with 14-18 year olds on a daily basis. On that particular day, one of the dearies was getting ready to go get her license. I laughed and said I hope it's not like in that movie "License to Drive" with the two Coreys (you know the one where the cute Corey and his twin sister go to get their license and he fails, but is too ashamed to tell anyone so he just pretends that he got it anyway... then chaos ensues?) Anywho.... the girls response? No, it wasn't, "Yeah, I hope not!" Her response was "Who are the Coreys?"

I'll wait while you compose yourself. I know how you must feel. The absurdity of the girl not knowing the two Coreys hit me pretty hard too. At that moment. I thought. Wow. I am old!

I had that same realization today. Being that it is the 5th anniversary of September 11th, I thought I would lead a discussion on the topic. I asked the students where they were at the time that they heard the news. It turns out that the majority were somewhere in 4th grade. Ironic. You see when I was in 4th grade, I also witnessed a national disaster when the Challenger exploded. How many of you instantly thought of Christa McCauliff? So Anyway... when talking about where we were when big things happened, i realized that these kids weren't even born yet. A major memory of mine, and they were still about 6 years away from conception. I know that one day, they will have the same experience with the next generation. But by then I will be about 15 years even older! Sheesh!

2006-09-06T14:20:00.000-05:00

I have decided through peer pressure to begin my own blog. I have high hopes for my blogging adventure. Just as I had high hopes for the baby blanket I began when my sister told me she was pregnant. Of course, the blanket is a scarf, and the baby is 2 and a half.... but who says I won't finish it eventually? I am an excellent beginner. My issue is finishing what I have started. But I assure you that I will do my very best to inundate you with useless information about my life.

The world of blogging is new to me. I see those wacky kids with their MySpace accounts, and I wonder. How do they make it through the day? They are so artificially connected with everyone they meet! I swear they are getting dumber with each text message they send. Will they ever know the joy of actually talking to their friends on the house phone at 3 am. When they have to sneak and use it because there isn't a cell phone and if their parents found out they would be in big trouble? I remember actually dialing on the rotary phone at my parent's house, then laying on the bathroom floor whispering to my good friend until all hours of the night. Why didn't I talk to him that during the normal daytime hours you ask? Because unfortunately my Dad was the phone Nazi! Ahhhh.... the good old days of my dear Dad getting on the phone after 10 minutes to tell me to "Wrap it up." Now it would be no big deal because they could just IM or text or email or talk on their Razr phone.

I named my site "I am my father's daughter" for the sheer fact that each day I am turning more and more into him. Most men are warned that their wives will turn into her mother. My dear Chief could only wish that were true. But sadly for him I am more and more like my Dad every day. I find myself wondering why the kids on the phones can't just "Wrap it up" and do something else. And why they have to be out all hours of the night just to have fun. Any fun they can have they can have before crufew I tell you! And there in lies the second part of my Blog title. The "Damn it" part is because I was so sure that when I grew up that I was going to be hip and cool. Now it seems that I am just Hippy and Cold. Damn I'm getting old.