Monday, August 27, 2007

Baaaack to School.... Baaaack to School.....

Ah Fall... That time of year when stay at home parents breathe a collective sigh of relief.

Not to say that they don't just adore their little darlings, who in late May and early June were so sweet and innocent, but as the summer wears on, so do parent's nerves. Sure, the student's vacation is ending, but that of the parent's is just beginning.

For children and teens, the worst part is usually having to wake up and go to bed at certain times. But what other options do they have? They have to be there. So as much as they might grunt and groan, they'll be waiting for the bus with their boots tied tight.

Then you have those of us adults who CHOOSE to go back to school. Either as paid employees, or as paying students. Whichever the case may be, you have to give us a little credit. It takes a big person to be able to walk into a classroom everyday and not want to turn and run screeming back to our cars.

This year I'm torn. I was actually really enjoying my summer home with Murph. I'm torn because I am so incredibly happy to be back at school. I'm around other adults all day long, and I don't smell like spit-up. I feel guilty because I'm not more upset about having to drop off my little man at the sitter. Hopefully I have a redeeming quality since the very best part of my day is picking him up as soon as possible after the final bell rings.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I am 32 flavors

I'm a fan of the singer Alana Davis. I listened to her first CD over and over again. In one of my favorite songs "32 flavors" (yes I know it is a cover of an Ani DiFranco song, but I heard Alana's version first) she sings "One day you're going to get hungry and eat most of the words you just said"

"Of course I'll go back to work!" I'd quickly exclaim. "I wouldn't WANT to stay home" and "I just wouldn't be a good mom if I didn't work" I'd proudly proclaim.

Who knew how quickly Murph could change all of that for me.

In less than 3 weeks I am going to be leaving this little man in the care of a perfectly nice and capable woman. But in the last few days I've been brought to tears by the thought of putting his care into her hands. I know him you see. I'm the one who can tell the difference in his cries. I'm the one who has comforted him and loved him and worshiped him.

I'm going to miss him. I'm not going to be there when he wakes up smiling from his nap. I won't be there to hear him giggle and coo through the day. And it won't be me who is there to pick him up and comfort him when he cries.

"Of course I'll go back to work", I say begrudgingly.

Who knew that one of my 32 flavors would be crow.