Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I am 32 flavors

I'm a fan of the singer Alana Davis. I listened to her first CD over and over again. In one of my favorite songs "32 flavors" (yes I know it is a cover of an Ani DiFranco song, but I heard Alana's version first) she sings "One day you're going to get hungry and eat most of the words you just said"

"Of course I'll go back to work!" I'd quickly exclaim. "I wouldn't WANT to stay home" and "I just wouldn't be a good mom if I didn't work" I'd proudly proclaim.

Who knew how quickly Murph could change all of that for me.

In less than 3 weeks I am going to be leaving this little man in the care of a perfectly nice and capable woman. But in the last few days I've been brought to tears by the thought of putting his care into her hands. I know him you see. I'm the one who can tell the difference in his cries. I'm the one who has comforted him and loved him and worshiped him.

I'm going to miss him. I'm not going to be there when he wakes up smiling from his nap. I won't be there to hear him giggle and coo through the day. And it won't be me who is there to pick him up and comfort him when he cries.

"Of course I'll go back to work", I say begrudgingly.

Who knew that one of my 32 flavors would be crow.


XOXO said...

It's not as though you'll be that far from him. You could be one of those moms that goes during her lunch hour. Oh and he gets to be one of those kids that runs around the school after most the kids leave. I always thought that was so cool.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

XOXO - It's not *that* cool. Trust me.

=) - It'll be rough, I'm sure. It was rough for my sister. But you'll get used to it eventually. Plus, you still get to do all of those things when you pick him up... AND you get to spend long vacations with him because of your megacool work schedule.