Sunday, August 17, 2008

Searching for Normal

I took the boys to the airport yesterday. We actually drove to the city the night before and stayed in a hotel because of the early departure of their flight. The Chief had to work this weekend, yes poor planning, so he wasn't able to make the trip with us. That of course made it even harder on him, and harder on me for having to watch it.

We had one last dinner as a family, then all three boys and I loaded into the car for the 3 hour drive. Murph did pretty well. Even sleeping for part of the trip. Once at the hotel, it took awhile to get everyone calmed down and asleep. Murph would sit up and jabber at his brothers whenever they made a sound. "Snort like a pig!" they begged. Murph would oblige and even that made me tear up.

We were up by 5 to get ready, eat a little, and get to the airport. All three played on the bed for awhile, smiling and laughing. Again, the tears.

I was extremely nervous about how Murph would do at the airport, but he was perfect. Me on the other hand, well I was a sobby mess. I hate departure day more than any other day.

They talked about when they would be here next (4 months from today). Four months isn't so long they decided. And the baby will be here by then. Duece asked, "How old will Turk be when we get here? One or Two months?" "Two or three weeks," I replied. "That's little!" They didn't meet Murph until he was a month old.

It was finally time for them to board, and time for hugs and goodbyes. Murph was sleepy enough that he wouldn't hug them or give them smoochies. I was struggling not to cry, but that made is so that I could barely tell them goodbye.

Driving home, friends and family would call to check to see how it went, but even talking about it hurts. Our boys are gone, Murph's brothers are gone, and there is nothing that we can do to change that. Nothing legal that is, and I'm too pretty for jail.

So now we wait. We count down the 4 months until they are home again. We try to get our lives back to whatever normal is without them.

Who says normal is so great?


Robyn said...

I'm so sorry your whole family can't be together, always. I cried reading this; I hurt for you.

XOXO said...

Boo! Freaking sad entry.